


Fantasy UHauls

by Bisexualtrashlord



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cats, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, New Homeowners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexualtrashlord/pseuds/Bisexualtrashlord
Summary: Taako tires of his glossy, Goldcliff apartment and thinks about the warm, loving home he and Kravitz could make together. Spoilers (kinda) from the San Francisco Live Show.





	Fantasy UHauls

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I was so inspired by the San Francisco live show that I had to write this. I wanted to write a possible way Taako and Kravitz ended up living together, so here it is! Hope you enjoy, let me know if you did!

“I love what you’ve done with the place, Krav. Now that you added purple around it doesn’t look as much like a haunted house anymore,” Taako said sarcastically as he lounged on Kravitz’s bed in the Astral Plane. Everything in the plane was ephemeral, objects and ghosts of people long gone faded in and out. This phenomenon was in Kravitz’s apartment, every piece of furniture shimmering slightly, as if sitting on a chair wrong would make it disappear. His apartment was full of deep reds and purples, and all his furniture was made of smooth black onyx. For someone who didn’t need to sleep, he had a large bed with black and red silk sheets that looked soft and rich to the touch, that is, if it stayed solid.

“I can’t believe you have plants,” Taako said, walking over to the bouquet of withered, browned, roses. He delicately touched one of the petals, only to have them crumble and flake in his hand instantly.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry, Krav.”

Kravitz shrugged sheepishly, “It was gonna happen soon. I know it doesn’t make sense to try and keep something alive in the realm of death. At least they don’t go to waste.”

Just then, a puff of black smoke faded in by Taako’s hand, materializing until it became the form of a fluffy, black cat, smoke steaming by its tail and tummy. Its glowing blue eyes zeroed in on the crumpled petals.

“Holy shit!” Taako yelped, making the cat flinch.

“Oh, yeah. Taako, this is Thanatos, he’s new,” said Kravitz, walking over to pet his cat.

“Thana—wow, you have a death aesthetic around the clock, huh?” Taako asked, watching as Thanatos munched on the petals in his hand.

“What can I say, it comes with the job. I found him when I was on a mission, some necromancers were trying to control some animals. Luckily, he didn’t get hit as bad as some others. His soul is still there, his body just fazes out of reality at will.” Thanatos finished his flowers and pawed to Kravitz, nuzzling his head on his sleeve, a ghostly, echoey meow leaving his mouth.

“Well, he is pretty cute,” Taako said, petting the cat. He felt solid, for now, but he worried that if he pressed too hard Thanatos would poof away. And, like Kravitz, he was tepid to the touch. Taako felt his stone of farspeech pulse against his shirt.

“Damn. I have to go now, Goldcliff Times wants _another_ interview, but I wanna make something for our little buddy here before I go.” Taako pulled out his wand and conjured a bright pink dish. He then took the remaining rose petals and crushed them into the dish. Taako watched Thanatos sniff the bowl before eating the petals inside, content.

“See? He likes it already,” Taako said, scratching behind his ears.

“Will I see you soon?” asked Kravitz, summoning his scythe to tear a rift for Taako.

“Of course, bubeleh, you can’t get rid of me so easily. Keep that cat of yours fed, it looks like it’s gonna wither any second,” Taako smirked.

Kravitz rolled his eyes, “Oh, ha ha. Take care, Taako.”

“Always do, hon.” Taako walked through the rift, kissing Kravitz’s cheek before it closed.

Kravitz glanced back at the dish Taako made, a bright splash of pink against the dark colors. He smiled when Thanatos curled up and fell asleep next to it. Taako just left and was only gone for mere seconds, but Kravitz already missed him.

**Four Days Later**

“No, Sassy, that sashimi isn’t for you, get down!” Taako scolded, shooing the calico away from the counter.

“It’s quite alright, Taako, she can have a piece,” Kravitz broke off a piece of salmon and put it in front of her, smiling when she happily munched it.

“You’re too nice, you’re giving her ideas and how she thinks she’s going to get artfully cut fish all the time.”

“Don’t you make her cat food?”

“Yeah but salmon is for special occasions! She’s an adorable little freeloader, is what she is,” Taako grumbled, scratching behind her ears.

Kravitz chuckled, “good thing mine only eats flower petals, I suppose.”

“Let’s switch cats for a day, maybe then I could cook in peace.”

Taako and Kravitz shared a chuckle, watching Sassy run her hand over her face to clean it.

“I think our cats would get along, don’t you?” Kravitz asked, scratching behind Sassy’s ears.

Taako, “Yeah I think they would, we should have a kitty play date. I hope your cat can handle being outside the Astral Plane.”

“You know, I don’t actually know if he can, but he’s not originally from there so it might be fine. There aren’t many animals he can spend time with there, it’d be nice if he had a friend.”

“Sassy could be his friend,” Taako said.

“That’s not a bad idea,” replied Kravitz.

Taako froze. “Is that…is that something you’d—”

Kravitz’s stone of farspeech pulsated with light, making him sigh and look at Taako apologetically.

“I’m sorry, I gotta—”

“I get it, duty calls. Go on, you death superhero. Call me when you get home?”

“Of course, I’ll try to be quick. I love you, Taako,” Kravitz said, summoning his scythe.

“I love you, too.”

When the rift closed behind Kravitz, Taako heaved a sigh. He was alone again, and his apartment was too quiet.

“Looks like it’s just you and me again, huh, Sassy?”

“Mrrp,” she mewed.

“Did you like what Kravitz was saying, would you wanna meet his cat?”

“Mrrp!”

Taako nodded, “I wanna live with him too, but I don’t know if he does. I mean, it totally sounded like he did, didn’t it? I’m overthinking it, aren’t I?”

“Meeeew.”

“Yeah, I know I probably am. I can’t help it, it’s part of my brand. Keep everything inside and overthink it, never get it out, and then I’ll die,” Taako said as he cleared his and Kravitz’s plates.

Sassy grumbled in disapproval.

“That’s something ole Taako has to work on, maybe you can help me. Come on, you can watch my elaborate night time routine.” Taako scooped Sassy from the counter and carried her to his room.

Taako strolled to his bedroom, taking in the living room as he passed. When he bought this penthouse in Goldcliff, he thought it was going to be his home for a while. He was going to decorate it and make it his own, but in the six months he’s lived here, he barely changed a thing. It was too modern, too stiff, too sleek and shiny and glossy, like he was living in an ad. It was perfect location for interviews and TV spots, but homes were supposed to be an escape, Taako thought. He didn’t have a living space, he had a studio.

Taako wanted a place where he felt comfortable and safe, a place for his cat, and Lup and Barry and the others to come and go as they pleased. He wanted a place for him and Kravitz.

As he sat down at his vanity and brushed through his hair, he felt his cheeks go warm at the thought of Kravitz coming home, kissing him on the cheek, and telling him about his day. He thought about spending the better part of a day in a garden, pruning herbs that he would use in a dish later that week. He thought of Angus having a place to come home to during holiday breaks, setting up a room for him and everything.

Taako wanted a _home._

Those thoughts carried him through the rest of his routine, seeing paint swatches and big floor plans in his dreams.

His desire for a home increased tenfold when he and Kravitz visited Lup and Barry’s new home. They settled down in Neverwinter, in a cozy house full of rich wood and warm colors. Lup’s crown jewel of the place was the kitchen, where she and Taako made the most delicious housewarming dinner in all the planar systems, with herbs growing by the window in little potted plants. Barry was eager to show them their little yard, a small patch of nature in the city.

Taako and Kravitz stayed the night, in the guestroom that was painted a comforting seafoam green with soft, sand-colored sheets.

Despite the warmth and comfort of the bed, was restless. He did what he usually did when he couldn’t sleep, cook. He padded to the kitchen, the moon shining bright through the windows by the sink.

“I knew I’d find you here,” came a soft, deep voice from behind him. Taako turned to see Kravitz clad in his baggy sleep clothes, braids in a messy bun and sleep mussed. The domestic picture he painted almost too much.

“You know me too well,” Taako said with a smile.

“I missed you upstairs,” Kravitz said as he approached the kitchen counter.

“Couldn’t sleep, wanted to make a midnight snack. Want a grilled cheese?” asked Taako while he raided the fridge for the ingredients.

Kravitz shook his head, “No thanks, I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea though.”

“No problem, they have an impressive stash. Chamomile with a tablespoon of honey, right?”

Kravitz chuckled, “You know me too well.”

Taako worked in silence, trying as hard as possible to quietly set up the pan and kettle, and every _clack_ of kitchenware made him wince. His nerves began to hum, urging him to say something, _anything_ related to the house, hoping that would spark the conversation he wanted to have the most.

“So, uh, some house Lup and Barry have, huh?” Taako asked.

“It is certainly impressive. Barry showed me the library they set up. There is an…unsettling number of necromancy books,” Kravitz grumbled.

“That’s Barold for you. Those were probably old though.”

“They were from a bounty we had last week.”

“Oh, yikes,” Taako said as he flipped the sandwich in the pan.

The sandwich was done cooking, right when Kravitz’s water was boiling. He felt his nerves hum again, telling him to get out what he really wanted to say. He handed Kravitz his tea and sat next to him on the kitchen island, suddenly losing his appetite, poking the sandwich around on his plate.

“Something wrong?” asked Kravitz.

“Not necessarily ‘wrong,’ but something is on my mind.”

“Whatever, it is, you can tell me. You know that I’ll always listen—”

“Would you want something like this?” Taako blurted.

“Something like what, love?”

“This, that,” Taako vaguely gestured to the roof and walls around him.

“You…you mean a house?”

Taako nodded, “Yeah, and all the stuff that comes with it.”

“You don’t like your apartment?”

Taako shook his head and rolled his eyes, “Hell no, with the amount of people that have interviewed me in it? No way. I can’t ‘round a corner without thinking someone’s gonna shove a microphone in my face. For being so damn fancy, Goldcliff apartments are really fucking dull and boring. And small? They’re too small.”

“You want to get a house?” asked Kravitz.

“Yeah, I want a big garden and a place for us and our cats and Angus and—”

“Hang on, did you say ‘us?’” Kravitz asked, voice going soft.

Taako froze and sighed. “Yeah. I…I want us to live together. I want us to have a house with a huge kitchen, so I can watch you fail at cooking, and I want our cats to be friends and I want to have a freakishly huge housewarming party where we can show off our cool stuff. And I just…I really miss you and I wanna be with you more,” Taako said, voice falling to a whisper.

“Taako…” Kravitz murmured.

“And, like, obviously you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know it’s a big, weird ask, and it’s kinda stupid but I thought I would run it by you and—” Taako backpedaled.

“Taako,” Kravitz interrupted softly, laying a lukewarm hand on Taako’s cheek.

“It’s neither stupid, nor weird. I’m honored that you’d want to live with me. I’ve thought about all those things, too.”

“Really?”

Kravitz nodded, “the Astral Plane isn’t the…coziest place in the world. And I love when I’m staying with you. I miss you when I’m at my place. And, it would be nice to see plants alive for a change.”

“Are…are you sure? You really want to do this? You don’t have to just because I said it.”

“I want to, love. I promise, I can’t wait to take this step with you,” Kravitz murmured, eyes glowing in the light from the moon.”

Taako launched at Kravitz, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “Thank you,” he said, muffled by Kravitz’s shoulder.

“What’s going on here? Having Dark Lunch without us?” Lup asked in the threshold, hands on her hips, Barry in tow.

Taako and Kravitz pulled away and turned to Lup.

 “We’re getting a house,” Taako said simply.

**~oOo~**

Taako unlocked the door and dramatically sighed, kicking off his heels and not caring that they clunked against the wall. Sassy came bounding down the hallway and to the entrance, meowing happily that he was home.

“Hey, honey! I missed you, too. Were you a good girl today?” Taako asked as he scooped her up. He felt a light breeze tickle against his ankle and looked down to see Thanatos rubbing his leg.

“Hello to you, too, were you keeping Sassy in line?” His response was a ghostly meow.

“I thought so. Come on, kids, let’s get this fancy shit off,” Taako said as he ascended the stairs.

It took almost seven months, but Taako couldn’t be happier with the way the house came out. It was everything he’d hoped it would be; each room was painted a different color, from the rich, royal blue in the living room to the warm sienna in the bedrooms. The living room had sweeping bookcases full of Kravitz’s favorites and plushy, soft chairs and couches of all sizes with far too many pillows, and little figurines dotted every surface. There was a room for Angus upstairs, a simple blue and white color scheme, with walls of bookshelves for all of his detective journals and other nerd stuff. Taako charmed the paint so the walls glimmered with stars and moons at night; Angus made passing comments about being afraid of the dark. There’s no better nightlight than the night sky itself.

The windows in the kitchen and living room are French doors, which open to the wide, expansive yard. Lush, soft grass covered every inch with beds of different flowers and plants filling the yard with every color imaginable. There was even a little section dedicated to wilting plants and blooms for a certain noncorporeal friend.

Taako strolled into the bedroom and wasted no time taking off the dress he wore that day, and found the baggiest, most comfortable clothes he could find. The cats followed him into his walk-in closet where the vanity was set up to take off his makeup and snap his glamor away. While he unbraided his hair, he watched and smiled as the cats played on the floor, wrestling and harmlessly swatted each other. When he reached for his brush, he heard a familiar rift tear in the bedroom, along with a tired sigh.

“We came home at around the same time today, it’s a miracle,” Taako said as he brushed. Kravitz walked into the closet and to the vanity, bending down to kiss Taako on the cheek.

“I missed you today,” he murmured.

“I missed you too, but we’re home now, so let’s be lazy for the rest of the night.”

“Deal,” Kravitz said as he undid his tie and shucked off his feathered robe.

Taako smiled as he continued to brush his hair.

 _Home._ Yeah, he could get used to that.


End file.
